Ostrich Airlines

 
 

Fly Like an Ostrich through the Skies

News: United Airlines and Ostrich to merge!

Ostrich Airlines offers you:

Ride Your Luck With Us

Squawky The Ostrich says:
"Let Ostrich Airlines Give You The Wing"


New Trans-Atlantic Service

Ostrich Airlines is pleased to announce a new direct trans-atlantic flight to London, England. The first flight went extremely well, as described below.

Admittedly, there were a few problems on the return flight, as some of you may have seen on World's Scariest Arctic Rescues (NBC) and When Polar Bears Attack I and II (FOX-TV).

Stick Your Neck Out
with Ostrich Airlines

Special Offer - book a flight to London and enter a drawing to meet our lovable mascot, Squawky the Ostrich, as seen on TV (When Ostriches Attack - FOX-TV).

Press Release - Ostrich Airlines has taken legal action against Demento Films to prevent release of their so-called comedy movie Ice-Cold Ostrich, allegedly based on our first transatlantic flight. As our pilots can attest, there is nothing remotely humorous about flying across an ice cap with a polar bear hanging from the landing gear. We also strongly contest the inference that the flight improved after the bear entered the cockpit and seized the controls. He bounced the plane several times on landing.
7-27-99

Press Release - Ostrich Airlines recently entered into a code sharing agreement with TundraAir on its direct flight from Bismark, ND to the Ostrich Air hub in Gander, Nova Scotia. The CEO of TundraAir is recovering well after his encounter with an unusually frisky Squawky the Ostrich. Some of you may have seen his many unsuccessful attempts at running away on When Good Ostriches Turn Bad (FOX).
2-24-00.

Press Release - United Airlines announced their intention to merge with Ostrich Airline. "Ostrich will give us an aura of quality that United lacks, said a United spokesperson. "Anybody complaining about missed connections will be rebooked to Greenland on punishment flight OS-1". The new company will be called United Ostrich Airlines.
9-15-00


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