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Hound Advice

Ask Tessie

Advice from Tessie the Hound. Ask Tessie about life's problems. For a balanced perspective, occasional responses from Mr. Bitter, an embittered human, are also included.

See also - the original Laser Dog Advice.

Q) Dear Tessie: Even I get tired with my constant wheedling. How can I achieve professional hound levels of determined mooching?

Tessie replies: Just enjoy it. Rest assured, most bipeds can be worn down with endless wheedles, imploring stares, and nose nudges.

Q) Dear Tessie: My owners leave me alone all evening. What can I do?

Tessie replies: I cheer myself up with a little ditty -
I feel sad,
My owners will be sadder,
After I empty my bladder.

Mr. Bitter replies: I had my bathroom priviliges revoked at work again, so I can relate to this.

Q) Dear Tessie: Can you train a dog do its business in the toilet?

Tessie replies: Get up earlier! Dont leave me alone for so long - 20 minutes max.

Original Laser Dog Advice and even more Laser Dog Advice.

E-mail questions for Tessie's dog advice column to laserlab("at" symbol)tm.net

We had to disguise our e-mail address to cut down on junk mail.